Being Bullied

This will be a bit of a unusual post for me but this has been playing on my mind for a good few weeks and I feel it will be better if I don't hold it in anymore.

I have had the unfortunate dislike of being bullied from a young age for name calling to verbal abuse about being adopted.

It all started in First School, I didn't fit in as I wasn't from the area I wasn't in the click I wasn't popular! I used to go and sit by the pond they had at lunch time as it was out of the way just so I wasn't laughed at for my socks or my lunch box. I didn't fit in. Then came Middle School I enjoyed this School a little more as there were trips you could go on but I still got bullied, for not having a boyfriend and needing help in classes. It got out at school that I was dyslexic and that was it, to the girls I was thick and dumb. My sister was my rock at school she would stick up for me through everything and fight my corner but she moved up to high school and it was back being little old me. That changed slightly when a guy called Mark asked me out, I wasn't much of an outside then but I was still different. Then to High School the one place I HATED the most. I got in to the Hogh School as my sister was already there (an allocated space for me I guess) don't get me wrong it was a good school but the bullies followed.

It got out at school that I was adopted and that changed everything. I got called some horrible names told my parents obivously didn't love me as they had given me up and not wanted me. I got so depressed at school I dind't do my work I protested but nobody noticed. I got that depressed I used to get on the train in the morning and not get off at my stop I used to stay on the train until Birmingham and wonder around Birmingham until it was time to get the train back to Kidderminster. I would take a spare pair of clothes so I wouldn't be in my uniform. When I did go to School I would hide at lunchtime so no one could find me I believed if I wasn't seen I wasn't noticed which would equal no bullying.

I got so depressed at School I use to self-harm it was my relief my way of coping with the pain. The pain I caused myself took away the pain from the bullying but this pushed me away from people even more. I would hide what I had done so no one would see this was my little secret my one thing people couldn't pick on me for.

I found it hard to speak to my parents I tolded them I dond't like school and I wanted to move but for them it was a good school with great posibilities. I didn't tell them about the bullying as it would have upset them for the things being said about me being adopted.

I believe that all of this has made me who I am today a stronger person who has taken all of this at an early age I just wish I hadn't bottled everything up and spoken to my parents even my sister just so someone else could tell me that everything is ok that I wasn't different.

Toodlepip Laura x